Heroes

Behind every cancer patient are literally, hundreds of heroes. I've come to understand that one person's fight against cancer is a whole village's battle. I am humbled by all the heroes in my life. And in the last five months I have met heroes of every kind...

The ones I knew would step up. Everyone has them - the people in your life you just know, without a doubt, will be there for you. Through thick and thin, and come hell or high water. You are my rock; you are my light. I never doubted you would be there for me; and I'm blessed that you have been. You know who you are. Thank you.

The ones I hoped would step up. There are people we just wish we had more time to get to know. People in our lives who we love and cherish, but we just keep missing them somehow; or they live just a little too far away; and have such a different schedule from ours. But I have hoped for you. I have wished that you would make time for me. And you have. Thank you.

The ones that have surprised me. And then there are those souls we once met and loved and then they faded away. Or maybe I faded away. Whatever the case, we've lost touch and lead separate lives. And yet, in my fight, you've stood by my side; reached out to me; thought about me; made an effort to let me know that in fact, you're very much around. Thank you.

The ones I never would have guessed. Some people have just flat out amazed me. You have not been part of my life in years. You barely know me. You barely remember me; or at least I think you barely remember me. And yet, somehow you've found me; heard about my fight; and you have stepped up. You are a new friend; an old friend; weren't even a friend - but are now. Thank you.

Behind every cancer patient are hundreds, and hundreds of friends and family who fight the same fight every day. You email me; text me; call me; visit me; Skype with me; pray for me; think of me; bring me dinner; send me a joke; bring me jelly beans; send me cards; hug me; kiss me; wink at me; eat lunch with me; Facebook me; laugh with me; cry with me; take care of my daughter for me; check on my husband; ask about me; take work off my plate; shop with me; chat with me; walk with me. You walk with me every step of the way. Know that I am grateful every day. And in June, here in Chicago, I will walk for you. I will walk because of all you do for me during the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I will walk because you have all stepped up for me and I am amazed by each and every one of you.

Thank you, my heroes.

Because My Mom Said So

The last time I cried as hard as I did today was the day I heard I had breast cancer. On that day my Mom was there, with Dennis, to hold my hand, hug me, and tell me everything was going to be OK. Today, after coming home from the airport to drop my Mom off on her trip back home to the Philippines, I cried so hard I couldn't breathe through my nose... and she wasn't there to hold me. Plain and simple: I want my Mommy!

My Mom was here for four months. She was here from the beginning of this life-changing ordeal that I'm still in the midst of. For four months she put her life on hold for me and she helped get me through the worst of it all. And now I miss her. While she was here, I could be the child; I could let myself feel that everything would be OK because my Mom was here to make it OK.

But this is what she told me before she left: she said, "I wouldn't be leaving if I didn't know, not just believe, but know in my heart that you will be OK." I believe her. Because as a Mom myself, I know that to be true. She needs to go home and resume her life; attend to her responsibilities; and get some much needed sunshine and warmth! She'll be back before I know it. So I will be OK. I will be OK because friends and family are rallying to our side. I will be OK because I have a husband who is my best friend, and my rock. I will be OK because my daughter needs me to be strong, and to be her Mommy whose job it is to make sure everything is OK for her. And finally, I will be OK... because my Mom said so.

Thank you, Mom. I love you more than words can ever express.