The last time I cried as hard as I did today was the day I heard I had breast cancer. On that day my Mom was there, with Dennis, to hold my hand, hug me, and tell me everything was going to be OK. Today, after coming home from the airport to drop my Mom off on her trip back home to the Philippines, I cried so hard I couldn't breathe through my nose... and she wasn't there to hold me. Plain and simple: I want my Mommy!
My Mom was here for four months. She was here from the beginning of this life-changing ordeal that I'm still in the midst of. For four months she put her life on hold for me and she helped get me through the worst of it all. And now I miss her. While she was here, I could be the child; I could let myself feel that everything would be OK because my Mom was here to make it OK.
But this is what she told me before she left: she said, "I wouldn't be leaving if I didn't know, not just believe, but know in my heart that you will be OK." I believe her. Because as a Mom myself, I know that to be true. She needs to go home and resume her life; attend to her responsibilities; and get some much needed sunshine and warmth! She'll be back before I know it. So I will be OK. I will be OK because friends and family are rallying to our side. I will be OK because I have a husband who is my best friend, and my rock. I will be OK because my daughter needs me to be strong, and to be her Mommy whose job it is to make sure everything is OK for her. And finally, I will be OK... because my Mom said so.
Thank you, Mom. I love you more than words can ever express.
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